The Mediocre and Often Random Adventures of Mitey

Mitey:{noun. Mi-gh-tea} 1.The result of a mix of the following ingredients: art, design, rock music, cereal, boredom, caffeine and insanity.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Try two: Dodging Veggies.

Alright. Stupid spellchecker wiped my entire post last time, no thanks to those who don't think I can spells. Yoos know who you is.

Warning: The following post outlines ways to dodge eating vegitables at a dinner table. For my own safety while continuing these carefully thought out plans, I advise that if you are a parent or guardian of mine that you stop reading now. This might be harmful to your health!

Ways to dodge the eating of vegitables 101.

A course instructed by Mitey.

Aim: To dodge the eating of all types of vegitables or 'healthy greens' in some hope of making it seems that they were disposed of into our mouths. Extra credit will be given on deception.

-Everyone knows siblings take most of our blame for things, so why not scrape your vegitables onto their plate. The 'look its Elmo!' Worked on a sibling of mine, allowing me to scrape peas from my plate onto his. Unfortunately if you don't have siblings, you can always invite your friends or other relatives over for dinner! (just check with your parents first!)

-If you don't have siblings, this can also sometimes work on a parent. Tried it on my Dad to reasonable success, only to later find he eats his vegitables first before most of his other food on the plate (must be to wash the taste out. hehe)

-The cracks in the table are always a good place to smuggle them, only the force to get them into that small crack can prove difficult at times and only rids you of smaller veggies.

-Serviettes. These useful pieces of dinner toilet paper are made to wipe your mouth after a meal, or spit out stuff you don't like. Need I say more?

-The tiny space under your plate can sometimes serve as a good hiding place for a short time. Just remember to be the last to leave the table if you do decide to do this - as you can then move them across the table into the place of where another person was eating. That way you dispose of them, and also incriminate someone else in the process!

-Throw 'em on the floor. Sucked in to those who need to vacuum the floor! The members of your household may discover them and be angry a few days later, but you still got dessert and kept the cockroaches/mice happy. Just remember if all else fails, you can always say you were setting a trap to victimise a mouse or cockroach straight into a trap.

-Extra credit to those who can start a food fight at your table. That way you only throw your veggies, allowing you not to miss out on the finer points of the meal.

-Eat them! (ok, it might not sound a logical way to decieve your parents, but mine wouldn't believe me if I ate a vegitable anyways, so your back to square one regardless!)

-Ignore the last point, and just pocket them for removal later (Don't leave them there! Your parents might be curious as to their apprearance in the washing.)

If you master any of these skills, or have some of your own, please leave me a comment.

God Speed!


  • At 12:50 AM, Blogger MiteysMum said…

    That certainly explains some of the mysteries of my dining table experience. Hmmmm....

  • At 4:52 PM, Blogger Kae said…

    Glad I lived far enough away that I didn't get to visit very often when you were hiding your food around the dining room. (Do you still do it, Mitey?)

    signed: Miteysmum's primary school friend.

  • At 5:02 PM, Blogger Mitey said…

    To answer your question Kae, my Mum knows all my secret spots now, so I'm in development of some new ideas.


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